After choosing a curriculum, one of the first things a homeschooling parent thinks about is how to socialize their children. What does socializing your children mean? What does it look like? Will my children be harmed if I can’t figure it out? In this post I will give you three tips on including a social aspect in your homeschool, and why, the true definition of socialization is important in the homeschool arena.
Socialization, the act of acquiring the values, habits, and attitudes of a society (1) is an important part of life and learning. I think that in the everyday life of homeschooling families, opportunities to learn the art of socializing with others is baked into the dna of homeschooling. This is especially true if you live in a big city. If you live on a farm or in a remote town, socialization will still occur, but maybe not at the rate that you would prefer. Interacting with immediate and extended family members, neighbors, store clerks, and delivery personnel are all opportunities for socialization. Even if you tried to keep your children from mixing socially with others, you will more than likely fail. Socialization happens. So when outsiders question your decision to homeschool based on “socialization”, you can be confident that it will happen. It will happen even if you do not take the steps below. The steps below are tips to enhance socialization opportunities.
Perhaps what some people refer to as socialization, is an incomplete definition. If you listen to others talk about socializing their children, they are not just talking about a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position. (2) A lot of the talk is about, teaching your children how to “deal” with bullies. How to act when someone is mean to them, or how not to be mean to others. A lot of talk is about how to share toys. How to take turns. Be kind. Be courteous. Don’t sneeze on each other. These ideas are all touted as socializing children, and as such, the thought is that children need to be in a classroom to learn these skills.
These skills are important. They are learned behaviors, much like any other subject that homeschoolers teach their children. As I mentioned earlier, these interactions can happen organically, but you and your children might find it more fun to enhance the opportunities to learn these skills in a more curated organized fashion. It is true that in a traditional school setting the children will have to deal with these situations, but that does not equate to learning how to deal with these situations. If both identity and values are tied up in the definition of socialization, then as homeschoolers we should be on the front lines teaching and guiding these interactions. By choosing to have your children involved in a co-op, book club, gym group, support group, or other group activity, you have more control of the opportunities to teach social skills. You can decide what is too much or too little. If your focus is on providing an educational opportunity to learn social skills, and to function well in this wonderful world that we live in, you can pick wisely and often. Given that focus, let’s talk about a few of the different opportunities to enhance your children’s social interactions.
1. Co-Ops
Co-Ops are groups that are mainly focused on the students. They support the parents in helping to achieve a common goal. Some are academic focused, teaching science, math, language arts, history, and then some, in a group setting. Some co-op are arts and craft focused, teaching woodworking skills, scrapbooking, sewing, drawing, painting, cooking, music, drama, speech, and a host of other activities that are fun to do in a group. There are gym co-ops that focus on sports activities.
Co-ops tend to have a statement of purpose, and set of rules to participate. This can be something as simple as no bulling or foul language allowed. Parents are allowed to pick and choose the activities that they would like to participate in. Typically there is a fee involved to help cover expenses. Typically the co-ops are ran by homeschooling parents who all participate in the “teaching” part of the co-op. Many meet once or twice a week, in a classroom style setting. Some have an all day schedule with lunch included, while others just have half of a day. Many have a combination of academics, arts and crafts and gymnasium activities for families to choose.
The co-ops are ran like traditional schools in that your children sit in a classroom, and are given assignments and sometimes homework. They are expected to participate fully in the classes. Some co-ops even provide grades to your children.
When joining a co-op you might have an opportunity to participate as a parent if the group is a small group. Larger groups might already have a system in place, and you will need to find out if your involvement is needed or desired. This is important because some homeschool parents want a place where they can drop the children off and pick them up later. Make sure you understand what is expected of parents before joining a homeschool co-op.
2. Support Groups
Homeschool Support groups are parent/educator focused as opposed to child focused. They can be large or small. The purpose is to support the families in their homeschooling efforts. They tend to meet once a month, typically with their children/students. Usually there is a topic of discussion, such as “teaching math” or some other how to lesson. Sometimes the groups included activities such as a movie night, a recital, a science or geography fair, book swaps and book clubs. At Homeschool support groups parents share ideas about what is working and what is not. Challenges are tackled. Some groups function as a hub for id badges, graduations, picnics, fieldtrips, and other group discount opportunities. Some groups have guest speakers. Basically these groups are designed to motivate and encourage. Usually there is an annual fee to help with the costs of running the organization.
3. Other Programs: AWANA – Girl Scouts – Boy Scouts and more
There are many traditional clubs for children to participate in. Choosing these programs are different from the options above in that you will not have much of a hand in the operation of the social group. The advantage of this is that teaching children how to deal with people who do not hold your family values is important. If all of your social activities are centered around your way of thinking throughout all of their educational years, you will be limiting your childs ability to meet, value, and converse with people who are not like themselves. What a missed opportunity for growth! Even participating in your local library’s age appropriate activities is a great way to teach social skills with people who are not likeminded.
Again, if you look at the socialization question more like an educational question, then you will begin to see a myriad of ways to enhance your children’s opportunities to learn how to acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society (1), and to learn the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position (2) (as in “take your finger out of your nose”, and “we don’t ask that.”)
That being said, joining a homeschool support group and a co-op or other program is a good place to start when looking at options for your child’s social activities. One word of caution. Try not to pile too many of these activities onto your plate. They are known to burn out homeschooling educators quickly if juggling too many at a time. Happy Homeschooling!
Socialization – noun
1. the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society (www.merriam-webster.com)
2. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position (www.dicitionary.com)